By TIMOTHY TEOH

Dangerous lah, Tan Sri Bernard Dompok! Don’t you know how to do your job? As DS Nazri has so ably pointed out in the Star, you are clueless when it comes to the role of the Parliamentary Select Committee of Integrity:

Nazri, who said the committee’s scope of duties was only to get feedback from the people for the Government to formulate unity programmes, said Dompok’s views might have been influenced by Opposition Leader Lim Kit Siang, who is a member of the committee.

[…] There is a general consensus among the ministers that the committee, which is not permanent, is not empowered to call anyone to give testimony or evidence.

… Click here for the full article!

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By TIMOTHY TEOH

I sometimes find myself “filtering” conversations with others.

Take for instance something that happened to me recently - two months ago, I borrowed a book from the library to refer to for an assignment. After I was done with it I passed it to a groupmate, who was supposed to return it to the library for me.

Long story short, I went to the library to fill in a clearance form before graduating and I’m staring at a big fat fine on the screen.

If I were telling this story to someone I don’t know well (including you, dear reader), it’d go something like this:

1) “You know, I reminded him many times to return it but he didn’t!”
Which is fine, but fails to convey how I really feel.

Telling this story to say, my mother, it’d go:
2) “You know, I reminded the stupid guy many times to return it but he didn’t!”

To a friend from church?
3) “You know, I reminded the guy so many darn times to return it but he didn’t!”.

You see where I’m going here? To someone I know well and am more comfortable with, I’d just come right out and choose the precise words to convey it:
… Click here for the full article!

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Photo by CHUA SUE ANN

Like many things in Malaysia, it’s only illegal if they bother to catch you. This photograph was taken in … Click here for the full article!

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By POH SI TENG

Should a Muslim man be allowed to take on a second, third and fourth spouse, without the consent of his first wife?

If you agree and would like to do so, pack your bags, sell your house and drive your family SUV along with your first wife and five kids to Terengganu. Woopeedoo!

The state feels a need to relax polygamy laws with the “high number of unmarried mothers and unwed lasses,” according to an article in The Star. You will, however, need to be “mentally and financially stable, (and) have in-depth knowledge of Islam.”

Perfect. Once your family is settled into daily life in the east coast, pop this:

“Sayang, I brought home some apom from the pasar malam, the kids from the tuition center, and uh, my SECOND wife … Click here for the full article!

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By TIMOTHY TEOH

In his introduction for The Malay Dilemma Revisited, M. Bakri Musa comments that every nation has its day of infamy permanently etched in its collective memory:

The French have July 14, 1789, Bastille Day; the Americans, July 1, 1863, the Battle of Gettysburg. Both events had their share of gory and grizzly moments that indelibly stained their nations’ histories. For Malaysia, it is May 13, 1969… But unlike Bastille Day or the Battle of Gettysburg which is memorialized by their respective citizenries, Malaysians have no wish to acknowledge, let alone remember, that infamous day in May.

The average Malaysian student will not be able to tell you what happened on May 13. I went looking through a few bookstores to confirm this.

None of the SPM/STPM textbooks or workbooks elaborate on it. It is invariably referred to as “Peristiwa May 13,” a bogeyman vaguely connected with perusuhan kaum but with no specifics … Click here for the full article!

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theCICAK NewsWatch is a fortnightly critique of news articles and opinion-editorials published in local newspapers. NewsWatch writers will highlight “holes” and flaws in articles, in hopes to promote fairness, objectivity and transparency in Malaysian news media.

If there is a news article that you think deserves our attention, please send it to write4thecicak@gmail.com. Be sure to include “NewsWatch” in your subject line. theCICAK team is looking for both good and badly written articles.

By TIMOTHY TEOH

The New Straits Times reminded me recently on why it is best used for fish wrapping.

While the National Union of Journalists Malaysia recommends that bloggers be recognized as alternative media disseminating information, while the latest concern in Malaysian cyberspace is press freedom in our country being rated lower than Cambodia, Philippines and East Timor, and while Barisan Nasional and Parti Keadilan Rakyat both analyze the Ijok outcome, NST instead decides to run a commentary by Rehman Rashid.

Many of you may remember him as the writer … Click here for the full article!

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Photo illustration by CHUA SUE ANN

Show her some love.

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By POH SI TENG

If you’re Muslim…
- you can choose to fast in space, or make up for it when you return to earth.
- you can consume non-halal food “only to the extent of restraining hunger.”
- and a male astronaut, you need to cover “the portion between the navel and the knees.”

The bullet points above are based on an Associated Press article about “government-prepared advice for a Malaysian joining a Russian scientific mission on the International Space Station in October.”

And then there’s the question of praying in the right direction. Which way is east? Will the International Space Station display a temporary kiblat arrow for either Sheikh Muszaphar Shukor or Faiz Khaleed?

Wait a sec, what about female Muslim astronauts? Or is it simply out of the question to send a Malaysian woman to space? … Click here for the full article!

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